Hi there, guys. Long time, no speak. First and foremost, I would like to thank you for reading my poetry. Everything I write means a lot to me, and I appreciate your support. Truly, it has been great so far.
Also, I know that I have been incredibly lax in the story-time part of my blogging. So far it has consistently been poetry, for over a year. I did promise to post other things here, not just poems. For some reason, I feel like this is a good starting point.
I’m doing fairly well. I’m officially finished my first year of classes at University. I’ve only got two more years to go, and I couldn’t be more excited about the year ahead. At the time of writing this, I’m about to head off to Melbourne to see my idol Taylor Swift perform her Reputation stadium tour. She’s my idol for so many reasons, but the best one is because she inspired me to write poetry, except back then I framed them like song lyrics (only, you know…without the music). I still might attempt to learn how to create melodies and pick up my guitar or keyboard lessons again. But I’m still not sure.
I do have dreams to one day publish my own books for a living, whether they’re poetry books or actual novels. I have been working on a novel for about eight years now. It’s being a hard task, especially when I keep scrapping and starting it. But now, I’m at a comfortable pace with the story, and I’m trying a new way of starting it. I’m re-working my first draft of the story, which is something I hadn’t tried to do before. It helps that the draft was always incomplete, but it’s frustrating because I have changed so much as a writer over the past eight years. But I am chipping away at it.
I also would love to produce a book of my poetry, and even have an audio-book/mix-tape of sorts to go with it. I do have dreams of one day becoming a published author, possibly even a best-seller. I’m conflicted about this dream, because I know I need to aim high but I also don’t want to expect too much of myself either. It’s an incredibly fine line to follow.
As I’m sure some of you have noticed, my subject matter varies from incredibly dark emotions to happy emotions. This is life, especially when you are going through some of the most stressful things a human can go through (Planning a wedding and studying full-time at university) while also having diagnosed anxiety and going through severe bouts of depression. I want to tell you, point blank, that I am doing alright. I’m probably not at a 100% level of good mental health, but I’m in a safe place today. Some days are harder than others, some will go great until one thing is said or thought, then I convince myself to make it a good day, to go for a walk or to the gym. At the end of my session, I usually forget what was making me so anxious in the first place.
And, sometimes, the anxiety hits me for no reason at all. That is the most frustrating part of this. I’ll notice my breathing spike, and my heart rate jump. I assess the situation and tell myself there is nothing to stress about. Sometimes I know it can be because of a thought, other times it can be because of an event. Other times, just the thought of having to go to work triggers something, which is absolutely unnecessary because I love my job. There is an answer for it, and it has everything to do with the chemicals in my brain (and sometimes an excessive amount of caffeine, which is my lover and my enemy all in one). We need to continue the fight to recognize mental health issues are as important as physical health issues.
So hopefully, I will continue to bring more blogging posts to you. Please let me know if you like this. Don’t be afraid to send me questions regarding anything to do with either what I’ve spoken about above or any of my writing on this blog. I love and appreciate every single one of you reading this and responding to my content. It means more to me than you know.
Bye for now,